Yes you read the title right, I mean it and a term called reverse dowry exists. The term dowry in itself is such a pathetic gesture shown by a groom's family towards the bride's family that the girl in itself feels ashamed of marriage. But the real question is when we are in midst of removing this pathetic practice of dowry taking, does this really start at this point of asking dowry or are all marriages which are dowry less don't have any other conditions before the marriage goes to completion??? Give a thought before you read ahead how marriages happen this days.
Reverse dowry - conditions that are expected or asked out of a guy before he marries a girl. Girl's are slowly becoming independent and reaching the limits of professional line, from managers to ceos and this is a great sign for a developing country like India where women are slowly and steadily climbing up the gender equality ladder. I myself am in support of this and also work towards the betterment. But does this really mean the guys now need to be judged 'ONLY' on basis of the money they earn, the assets they own, the post they are at, the size of the house (their own house) they stay in??? Are humans really not valued over money. Let me clarify what I mean by a few instances of my own friends which would make my above statement clear.
My friend who was a production line manager in a reputed production mnc earning close to 60k per month. Having a decent amount of saving and a clean past, he always was in the forerunners in the quest towards getting a good girl. Even after being from a sect of society where dowry is prominent, he decided against taking dowry and marry a girl which his parents feel is right. The result - his inlaws felt there is something wrong with the guy. The girl's brother and father after marriage is on paper went to meet every single friend he had in college and started inquiring about his past life if he had any problems in terms of relationships with girls. Then went to his family doctor and started enquiring about impotency and other diseases. Now is the guy wrong here in not asking for dowry?
Another case, it's about a colleague who studied alongside me, from an mnc again and earning handsomely. A gem of a persom any girl would prefer to get married to. Went to see a girl with whom things went ahead till engagement fixation given to families knowing each other. Now I thank God that this happened 3 days before marriage (it was much foolish of my friend to not have asked the girl what she expects). When asked for her expectations, here it was, I want my husband to earn 90k atleast (her salary is 10k), I want him to have a honda city and a flat of his own in first year of marriage, I may prefer leaving my job after marriage but would need maids to cook since I can't cook, we would stay seperate since I want my own privacy (mom dad would stay seperate and this kid was their only son). There were many more questions concering how much he has saved and about his job location and security. Has this guy made a bluder for being a gem of a human taking responsibility of parents and earning handsomely???
The point to get ahead is if dowry is condemned then what are these demands called? It's fine to ask about a guy's stability and his earnings but checking his salary slips for proof is a bit too much. It good to live in dreams and dream of good things but I think dreams are built together and they don't come in a readymade packet. Well the readymade thing is all what is expected out of a guy these days, the nature and stand of the guy in his life or his struggle in life to reach where he is, is considered irrelevant these days. Simple question is if you want a guy to have 10 lakh as his savings, is it really wrong if a guy asks 10 lakh as dowry in return? If we are condemning the latter part then shouldn't the former, which is mostly been ignored as it is considered as expectation for stability, be equally condemned? When I asked a guy who demanded 90 lakh as dowry from girl's family as to why is he demanding dowry when he is good to do, here was his reply on which I really had no words left to reply him back - "My wife wants a 2 bhk flat in andheri (cost close to 2 crores), I am having 1.1 crores as my savings till date, I need the rest to complete her need..." Now this individual was condemned for asking dowry and even thrown behind bars but the earlier expectation was completely ignored. Was the guy wrong in asking for dowry in this case?
I don't say that all girls or their families do it (all don't take dowry too), but these things are more prevalent especially in the sophisticated world where a guy is considered as a money and asset vending machine more than an ideal husband and an ideal son. His stand in his life for his family is easily overpowered by the amount of assets he owns in life (his own assets and not his father's). Are the guys who are against dowry really wrong in not demanding it when things are being demanded out of them either by the girl or her family? If dowry is being considered illegal, shouldn't this term which is mostly unseen called "Reverse Dowry" considered illegal? It can never be made illegal but it's just a request to every single girl who is reading this post - do look out for a guy's career but do value him as a person more than valuing his position in professional world in life. Just prayers to all those who are a victim of these demands, god bless you lads.
Regards,
Gladi.
No comments:
Post a Comment