My real treasure...

This one's comes straight from the field and related to an O-ve blood post I shared few days back...
In my college times, I knew many colleagues who were rich, filthy rich...Used to roam around in Mercedes, handsets of apple, watches of Tissot and what not...not that I did try to reach them but then I was mostly ignored given to being from a middle class background, I couldn't afford or never felt like drinking a CCD coffee daily, Never could afford or felt like Pizza Hut orDominos every other day and it was obvious for me to be side tracked...I never felt anything about it and I don't blame either of those as well given to a clear difference in living and eating status...
It was 2 days before when I was in a night shift at work (I work as a small government servant) and I got a call from one of these colleagues asking for O-ve blood for his wife and kid who suffered in a bike accident...I didn't really ask for reference but he identified himself as a batchmate of mine (different college but same year)...I said I would try and hanged up since I was completely engrossed in solving a similar health issue faced at work in front of me...
Looking at my even stressed forehead, my team workers who stood in front asked me - "Sahab sab thik hai na???"...I told them what happened, shared the need with other contacts on social media and got back to helping the one in need at job...Within an hour, I got a call from the same friend saying thanks to me...I never knew that it was my team's 2 people who stepped up to donate at night 2 o'clk who stayed near the hospital and were home after completing their shifts earlier...They denied money offered to them by my friend and said they were asked not to take money by me...
Well I don't know how could I thank them for saving somebody's life who then never bothered to talk to me (well he still doesn't had it not been for the need)...I don't know who is rich or richer...But certainly the people I meet as the real jewels in my life...

Reverse Dowry - A Hidden Bitter Truth

          Yes you read the title right, I mean it and a term called reverse dowry exists. The term dowry in itself is such a pathetic gesture shown by a groom's family towards the bride's family that the girl in itself feels ashamed of marriage. But the real question is when we are in midst of removing this pathetic practice of dowry taking, does this really start at this point of asking dowry or are all marriages which are dowry less don't have any other conditions before the marriage goes to completion??? Give a thought before you read ahead how marriages happen this days.
          Reverse dowry - conditions that are expected or asked out of a guy before he marries a girl. Girl's are slowly becoming independent and reaching the limits of professional line, from managers to ceos and this is a great sign for a developing country like India where women are slowly and steadily climbing up the gender equality ladder. I myself am in support of this and also work towards the betterment. But does this really mean the guys now need to be judged 'ONLY' on basis of the money they earn, the assets they own, the post they are at, the size of the house (their own house) they stay in??? Are humans really not valued over money. Let me clarify what I mean by a few instances of my own friends which would make my above statement clear.
          My friend who was a production line manager in a reputed production mnc earning close to 60k per month. Having a decent amount of saving and a clean past, he always was in the forerunners in the quest towards getting a good girl. Even after being from a sect of society where dowry is prominent, he decided against taking dowry and marry a girl which his parents feel is right. The result - his inlaws felt there is something wrong with the guy. The girl's brother and father after marriage is on paper went to meet every single friend he had in college and started inquiring about his past life if he had any problems in terms of relationships with girls. Then went to his family doctor and started enquiring about impotency and other diseases. Now is the guy wrong here in not asking for dowry?
          Another case, it's about a colleague who studied alongside me, from an mnc again and earning handsomely. A gem of a persom any girl would prefer to get married to. Went to see a girl with whom things went ahead till engagement fixation given to families knowing each other. Now I thank God that this happened 3 days before marriage (it was much foolish of my friend to not have asked the girl what she expects). When asked for her expectations, here it was, I want my husband to earn 90k atleast (her salary is 10k), I want him to have a honda city and a flat of his own in first year of marriage, I may prefer leaving my job after marriage but would need maids to cook since I can't cook, we would stay seperate since I want my own privacy (mom dad would stay seperate and this kid was their only son). There were many more questions concering how much he has saved and about his job location and security. Has this guy made a bluder for being a gem of a human taking responsibility of parents and earning handsomely???
          The point to get ahead is if dowry is condemned then what are these demands called? It's fine to ask about a guy's stability and his earnings but checking his salary slips for proof is a bit too much. It good to live in dreams and dream of good things but I think dreams are built together and they don't come in a readymade packet. Well the readymade thing is all what is expected out of a guy these days, the nature and stand of the guy in his life or his struggle in life to reach where he is, is considered irrelevant these days. Simple question is if you want a guy to have 10 lakh as his savings, is it really wrong if a guy asks 10 lakh as dowry in return? If we are condemning the latter part then shouldn't the former, which is mostly been ignored as it is considered as expectation for stability, be equally condemned? When I asked a guy who demanded 90 lakh as dowry from girl's family as to why is he demanding dowry when he is good to do, here was his reply on which I really had no words left to reply him back - "My wife wants a 2 bhk flat in andheri (cost close to 2 crores), I am having 1.1 crores as my savings till date, I need the rest to complete her need..." Now this individual was condemned for asking dowry and even thrown behind bars but the earlier expectation was completely ignored. Was the guy wrong in asking for dowry in this case?
          I don't say that all girls or their families do it (all don't take dowry too), but these things are more prevalent especially in the sophisticated world where a guy is considered as a money and asset vending machine more than an ideal husband and an ideal son. His stand in his life for his family is easily overpowered by the amount of assets he owns in life (his own assets and not his father's). Are the guys who are against dowry really wrong in not demanding it when things are being demanded out of them either by the girl or her family? If dowry is being considered illegal, shouldn't this term which is mostly unseen called "Reverse Dowry" considered illegal? It can never be made illegal but it's just a request to every single girl who is reading this post - do look out for a guy's career but do value him as a person more than valuing his position in professional world in life. Just prayers to all those who are a victim of these demands, god bless you lads.

Regards,
Gladi.

A miracle in the making...

          Its been years, not one day when for a second I felt that something is missing in my life. Struggled a lot over years but never could reach 100% satisfaction. But things don't normally stay the way they are. The incident and human I am about to reveal to you is real and such kinda people exist on this planet.
          I was on my way from kanpur to jhansi after a fairly tiring weekend and was near to exhaustion. It was late night and my patience towards life and god was nearly getting exhausted. Finally managed to find a train and a seat which belonged to someone else. A family comprising of mom dad and their teenage child were seated near me. Things changed suddenly when I asked the lad to help me lift the seat since someone wanted to sleep and his dad replied immediately - He can't. I looked for a second in agony but then understood the lad's hand was missing. I kept quite and helped the fellow passenger to his seat. His dad was fairly quick to reply me back with a sorry and said his kid lost his hand in a railway accident. The situation became intense as I looked at the lad seriously, fair in colour, seemed to be aggressive from the way he spoke, right hand broken and left hand semi-paralysed. He lost his hand when standing on the door with station inches to approach, the train gave a jerk when he fell off and his right hand came off while his left hand was badly bruised. But he was not the guy I would have thought off.
          From being a theist to becoming an atheist (so called you may say), this guy never looked low on his energy. Apart from the day he was admitted, he never took an anesthesia while getting his stitches done or for relocating the iron bars planted inside his left hand. Consuming 8 bottles of blood, he was never unconscious after his accident. In complete senses, he knew all what happened to him after the accident. The doctors were scared of him and wardboys and nurses use to run looking at the pathetic condition of his body state. The real question is what kept him alive after a near to fatal accident and most importantly energetic more than an other human I knew in my life? What was he teaching me or trying to convey? A 17 year old lad who was almost near to death looked more enthusiastic than I was ever in life?
          It was his will to live, not only to live but to live it up to his best. A reply to every question and an ability to fight his current state, he stood second in his 2nd year with a writer and without studying a bit. The simplest aspect was he accepted life as it is but never gave up. He fought this condition and his will power to be big in life, to not been scared or shattered for what happened to him and living upto the fullest thinking about how future can be better was commendable. The real question of putting this post is if a 17 year old can show this kinda courage in the most disastrous condition is - If he can then why can't I? Why can't anyone who is reading this post live a life without much complaints? I guess we need to change the way we look at life, try being optimistic than just keep complaining about the happenings in life. A guy who lost both his hands asking me what is the line he should decide ahead so that he can research. I mean can we really try and live like this for a moment in life. Try living a day rather than giving up. Girlfriend left you, failed in exam, feeling miserable, being ditched or bitched by friends and  want to commit suicide for all these reasons? Maybe you should try giving life another chance. Maybe you should try manipulating your life according to the results you get, according to instances coz future is a blank book and is yet to be lived. Giving up is not a way but fighting hard is. This lad changed my thinking in a million ways, now would back this guy up till he reaches the IIMA levels, he is tailor made for such institutions. I hope God supports me in making this poor lad (poor in finances) achieve something which I could only dream off.
          A request to all readers to pray so that our efforts in saving the lad's hand meet success. A gem in making but it will take years till I polish this lad to perfection.

Government job - was it a good choice???

2          It's a quite confusing and sarcastic question, especially in a country where corruption stands to be an integral part of the working of the system, or atleast it is considered so. It's tuff to put pen to paper in this case especially when you are a part of the system, more importantly when you are a part of Central government. Not that I am only proud of the job that I am currently in but it also speaks a lot about my drastic change in views from looking at the system to being a party of the system.
          The simplest way to summarize how I looked at the system is how the world currently looks at me. The day my friends came to know about my government job, out goes a well known reply - "Upar ki kamai kitni hai bhai..." or "Teri to life set hai boss, 2 3 saal mein to gadi bangla hoga..." I was not much different before joining government, a government employee is well known to eat money than to do work. Well why not, well I quote it when I have seen all government officers dealing with public not ready to work till their pockets are full. The day I knew I would be a part of the then known system to me, I was sure enough to make a change to it. But it's said that things come to you in the most unexpected form.
          Well I wont quote of what happens with government officers who deal with public but my case was a bit different. A central government post was supposed to be less worthy in terms of money earning as compared to state government jobs. It was still a wonder to many that what was the real reason for me to give off a 12 lakh IT package and join a sector which was lesser in terms of money, rather lesser than half my package. Reaching a senior sectional engineer's post in an early age of 26, I was told by many that I reached a saturation already in railways since the distance of the Valley between the most important post in the working chain to the officer's level was huge and clearing it was near to impossible. A stream of demoralisation lectures from our seniors and others working in sector, the journey in first few months was a mammoth mountain to climb, the mountain of frustration and mountain of saturation.
          But I knew God was with me in this and he would always have a reason to let me here. I started with my shifts and my visits, it was never as easy as one would have probably thought of, rather it was the vice versa case. From measuring millimeters to measuring different preset parameters, it required huge patience and knowledge. Irrespective of the working conditions let it be -5 degree Celsius in jammu tavi pit line or 60 degree burning agra deserted yard, the work stayed the same, the difficulty stayed the same. There where no Sundays, holidays were like a dream come true, rather there were double shifts on public holidays and the tension always use to creep up because of scarcity of staff and unbearable working conditions. The only thing which could probably keep me driving was the inner voice to keep serving the people till I probably can. Thanks to my job, the dream was properly satisfied.
          If you ask me why we studied millimeters then my on job answer would be if the difference between 2 wheels is 1603 mm instead of 1602 mm then the train will derail. A check of 96 such wheel sets in n a train rake to perfection and then gurantee by your signature that the train will move safely speaks about the pressure we have when we sign that every sheet which is a permission for a train to run. Checking of air brakes which stand to be the heart of the train's proper running stood utmost critical and difficult to monitor, a difference of few kg/cm could actually be the reason for loss of 1000s of lives; safety of whom depends on one single sign, a sign which we make trusting a staff which is mostly unemployed but none the less so skilled that they can probably beat a highly learned mechanical engineer on field. Trust is what we rely on and my Juniors and subordinates are up to maintaining it. It's tuff no doubt, but it's never impossible.
          Coming to the money part, let me clarify that we don't deal directly with public, we only strive as hard as possible in our pits so that every single train and every single bogie is fit to run. Money? I doubt we do ever see anything apart from our salaries and even if we do, I doubt it's never more than a thali's cost at a shetty's restaurent in mumbai. We don't sign contracts we sign fitness certificates, we are doctors and our patients are trains, they don't pay us, they don't praise us, they just look at us and we do understand what is wrong with them. We don't sign tenders, we just demand the material we need so that our patients are well treated with the medicine they need. If you would ask me for the scope for the so called 'Upari' paisa then I may quote that there is none. For the ones looking to make quick money, mechanical department of railways is not your cup of tea.
          The simple question to a guy like me is why this job then when you could have made millions elsewhere? The simple answer is that by God's grace money was never a concern in my life, he gave me enough to spend my life properly. It takes real courage to sign that small piece of paper, you are responsible for over 1000 lives and I would always like to deliver to that responsibility in the best and the fullest way. My family time stands importance and I have already ensured that my parents, my wife and my kids will never have that question in my life for not giving them time. A challenge is to get the work done and I am up to it. Striving hard in heat, wind or rain; in diwali, eid or christmas; on a Sunday, Independence day or Republic day; it all stays the same and you ride safely coz we work safely; can call it a hobby, there is no better way of serving the society for life with risk at its maximum but responsibility at it's best, no fame coz hardly anyone can see us, anyone knows who we are our what we do, but happy to be that silent worker to serve the masses for life, something which I asked God daily and he delivered efficiently. Last but not the least, not Government jobs are easy, not all government jobs are money earning, not all government jobs give you fame but for me and 1000s of supervisors across India, we are proud to serve you till we exist with satisfaction and responsibility.

Where is God???

            A controversial topic but I think this is the right time to get this in. Before I go ahead with my words, a small disclaimer – my words are words of a neutral and has got nothing to do with any person who is living or dead or semi-dead or in sanyas or any other form possibly defined by humans. Yes its needed otherwise I would either see different people near me tomorrow more interested in killing me for the reason they don’t know but for someone told me to kill them in the name of God. Yes the ‘Name of God’ phrase stands really important in a country like India which is vastly diversified in terms of its religious traditions and cultures. The most important fact to say is that most of these rituals have science behind it and they are worth enough to portray as an example of the strength of science in many rituals followed by Indian culture in present date. Now a point to note here is I said many and not all; because every single day someone creates a ritual or a tradition in the name of God. A simple question to ask every person who gets in these traditions if he actually has seen God any day? If not then I feel all religions and cultures stand equal importance in the state of a human in India.

            The worst possible logic is when religions are been compared. Every religion says their God is superior and there was no religion before their God. The easiest fact to know is all these religions preach that God is one; by simple logic it should be god of 1 religion = god of another religion. I feel these superiorities are actually disintegrating the integrity of a sweet nation like us. I am not against any religion, caste, culture or sect but it’s my firm belief as a proper theist that God is one and he is superior to all us humans. I may exist because of his will and may perish any day because of his will again. But the belief should be in God and he is one, the Almighty, the Super Soul or any other adjective which can probably define him in equity and not superiority. I am sure if God would be seeing this then he would have always liked his kids (us) to be under one roof and shelter and be there with religion for peace and integrity.

Simple question then may be asked is what is religion? Do we really need religion to exist or just a mere thought of God is sufficient to exist? I may put it forth with an example that education can be imparted at home to but to get a degree we need to go to school, to learn it in a more structured manner and learn it the way it should be learned. Religion is a means for integrity and a means to serve people, God always would want people to unite and stay in peace and stand for each other when and where needed. Religion is that means by which one is limited to do wrong – the only place where I would prefer the ‘Name of God’ been used in a proper way. But if I happen to look at the world now, the wrong things are done more in the name of God than the right things. There is just one religion – Humanity which is now known to the world in different names. But I think the world is more towards inhumanity than towards humanity in the name of religion. If I wear a wrist band I would get 10 years luck, if I wear a necklace then I would get super protection, if I chant I would get heaven and the best of all is if I forward a message to 10 people then I would get God’s given luck in tons in next 1 year otherwise bad luck. Trust me I do fast 2 times in a month – a day to remember God and to rest my stomach, I take recourse to a light meal in Sharvan – a breeding period of most species and a time of the year where digestion is low, I chant 16 rounds of beads per day coz it increases body heat and hence blood circulation and reduces hyper tension coz your heart can then beat upto 108 beats/min which is the maximum tolerable limit of a heart and a reason for why there are 108 beads in every rosary you chant. Every other ritual that I follow has logic behind it and I love the way that works in the name of a religion. On the other hand, kill a snake (naagbali) and you would get rid of a major problem in your life, if you wear a necklace of God you are forbidden to eat non-veg and then let you 65 year old mother in a family of carnivores cook another meal for you just coz you are a vegetarian, go and attend religious programs when your husband and kids are carving for food and motherly care at home because God told her she would earn heaven if she attends his followers functions, they kill in the name of religion coz that’s the only way God will be reborn, if I happen to miss any religious lecture if I was busy saving a life then God will get angry. I mean what kind of a religion is this which is setting restrictions to a freewill in human life for doing something good, which is that God who asked people to kill in the name of religion, which is that religion who asked you to trouble people behind your place because of your actions and keep them starving in midst of attending functions set up by God? I really doubt that any God or any religion has ever said this in any holy book, a statement I can firmly say after studying 4 religions deeply, they are all the same, they demand peace, they demand integrity and helping the needy and they all say there is only one God. I really can’t trace one such incident in the preaching of God where he would have said kill people or follow me ignoring your duties and that is the only way I would be delighted.

            How much should one trust God then? If religion is fake then even God is fake? Swami Vivekanda once said – “You can’t find God if you don’t trust the God in your own self and you can’t find humanity if you can’t be human yourself.” Trust the God in you. There are various ways in which God comes in front of you. Try helping people, God will feel better this way. Try portraying that you are a human and value every other human you come across, don’t make him God but give him respect. Trust God as one let it be in any form or religion but don’t degrade others or the Gods they follow. See to it you don’t harm or hurt anyone via your rituals, freewill is much more important in any religion and human life if used in the right manner. Feel happy in the God you follow and see that you don’t try to change others in the way they follow God, after all there are 1000 ways to believe him and all those 1000 may be right. Last but not the least, been an atheist and then converted into a theist, I feel there is a power above you which guides you, to me it is God and I would always trust him in any form he meets me (yes he has met me 1000s of times till now). Believe in what you feel is right but not at stake of disturbing others integrity or peace. If you can’t help someone try not to hurt someone. Spread love coz there is enough hatred in this world and it doesn’t need your addition. I hope so being a follower of humanity first; I would stand there for every human irrespective of his caste, creed, sex or religion and keep trusting that God will always give me the courage to serve his kids on earth. That’s what I feel is the real religion, it’s a commitment towards humanity to serve humans for their goodwill and blessings.